Poop Count 2007

Well here it is. Babar and I have been talking about doing this for a couple of years. On New Year’s 2007 we decided to count all of the poops we made (had?) during the year just to see how many poops an average 20-something year old man makes in a year. Well, Babar dropped out of the race about a week into the experiment, so the only data we have is mine. But because I stuck with it I am declaring my results to be the definitive findings in the field of poop science. I’ll be submitting my report to the Nobel committee later this year.

Total Poops – 447
Poops per Day – 1.22
Poops per Hour – 0.05
Poops per Minute – 0.001
Poops per Second – 0.00001


Bold – Most Poop-filled Month
Italics – Least Poop-filled Month

Monthly Totals
January – 40
February – 34
March – 36
April – 36
May – 40
June – 33
July – 41
August – 40
September – 43
October – 39
November – 33
December – 32 – I was out of town for over a week during this month. I never perform well on the road so that probably explains the lower total.


One of the more satisfying moments during this whole process was a couple of weeks ago when my wife came to the realization that I bought the calendar in our bedroom for the sole purpose of keeping track of my poops.
My Lovely Wife (MLW): “I thought that you were marking how many times you were running each month.”
Me: “No, I do that on a spreadsheet I made at work.”

This is a one time deal though. I can explain counting poops for one year as a science experiment/longest setup to a joke that’s funny to only two people in the world. If I did it more than once I would then become That Guy Who Counts His Poops. I don’t really want to become that guy. I guess that’s why there isn’t more data on the subject of pooping.