Die Hard with an *

I went to see the new Die Hard movie last week. I thought it was good. I think it had something to do with the writing (by the way, F-you Babar).

Anyway, I was disappointed though because once again the gods of Marketing crushed the gods of Awesome. Because it was decided that a PG-13 Die Hard would make more money than an R rated Die Hard, we were treated to John McClane going no higher on the Cuss Word Food Chain than "shit". He wasn't even allowed to say his signature line before being cut off by a gunshot.

That gets me to my second point. This movie is very violent. I'm surprised even with the toned down language that this wasn't rated R anyway. But I guess if you take most of the blood out the violence becomes OK for a thirteen year-old to watch.

Back to the real reason I'm writing this. What made this movie so unbelievable (aside from the awesomely ridiculous action sequences) was the fact that we were supposed to believe that McClane had cleaned up his act. He didn't even smoke much less cuss up a storm. Now in my day to day life I neither smoke or cuss but John McClane does. I expect him to do these things because that is who he is. A PG-13 Die Hard takes this away from me and all the other Die Hard fans who grew up watching McClane dispatch bad guys while smoking and yelling "Yipee kai-ay motherfucker".

A PG-13 movie also eliminates much of the mystery from an action movie. Which body parts will we see fly? How many F-bombs will be dropped? Cigarettes smoked? How much nudity? The answer to all of these question (and some I can't think of right now) is none.

So marketers, please make True Lies 2, Running Man 2 and Rambo 4 rated R. I promise if you do, I'll go see them twice.

Footnote: Pg-13 ratings also make the bad guys even worse shots. No collateral damage allowed I guess.